*Blink*

I woke up this morning thinking it was Sunday. I even luxuriated in bed for a moment, thinking how glad I was that it wasn't Monday. I stretched out, glancing at the digital clock, thinking that I was SOOO GLAD that I didn't HAVE to get up and, you know, function.

Yeah.

Aaaand then, I woke ALL the way up, and reality, cruel mistress, reared her head and I realized that today is NOT Sunday.

Alas, it was just another Monday.

My question is, where the heck did the weekend go?!? I mean, I blinked, and it was over. Seems like I just skipped Saturday and Sunday all together.

It was a busy weekend. I accomplished A LOT.

Not that today was all that relaxing, either.... My eldest came home sick, the landlord sent the plumber over to see about the clogged tub, then the landlord came over himself, I had to go and pick up Bryan from the store to take him to school, only to discover that he didn't have his backpack and I had to come all the way back home to get it, then I had to go and get the OTHER kids from school, make two pies, and now I have to go and get The Man from work. Then make dinner. Then clean up. Then get the kids ready for the nite. Then...

Oh, hell. Blink! Blink! Blink! BLINK ALREADY! I'm ready for today to be tomorrow!!!!

 

Thinking Deep Thoughts

And now mine brain hurts.

Actually my brain hurts not because I have been thinking deeply but because I didn't sleep very well last nite. No real reason why... I just... didn't.

However, I believe that tonite I will sleep much better, if patterns hold true.

My son Stephen is sitting next to me as I write this. No reason for me to tell you this, just thought I would mention it. Call it filler.

My youngest daughter is obsessed with animals. She wants a pet SO BAD. I would love to get a cat, but The Man is deathly allergic to anything that has DANDER, so no cats or dogs. I never thought I wouldn't have a dog; as a kid, we always had a dog. However, it's either a furry pet or The Man... I choose The Man.

That doesn't mean we can't have OTHER pets. Like birds. Frogs. Reptiles. In fact, at one time, we used to have a kickin' reptile collection. We had to move to a much smaller place, and had to sell all of them. When we move from these current digs, we plan on getting more. Alpha wants a bearded dragon. Delta really wants a bird.

We'll see.

So. As you can probably tell, I really have nothing new to contribute to this blog. This is just me.... rambling away, and not very well. Partly the headache and partly the lack of sleep makes Jenna a bad writer. Ah, well.

That's life.

Aaaand, yeah. I'm out.

 

California Dreamin'....

I was born here, in California. I don't remember it, even though I was there *wink*.

Anyway, when I was three or four, we moved from Cali to Utah, where I lived for the next year and a half. Then I moved from Utah to Idaho. I was five, maybe six.

I stayed in Idaho for the next (almost) ten years, and then it was back to Utah. There was the year I spent in New York, but other than that, it was Utah all the way.

I kinda thought that I would live out all my days in Utah. I kinda figured that I would never really live any place else. I was married; I had children; I was settled: it was life.

Haha

Aaaand then, things changed.

My ex and I, while we were wed, seriously considered moving out to California. His entire family lives out here, so it seemed it would be a good idea... except, you see, our marriage was slowly crumbling, and I just couldn't see myself leaving my whole support system and striking out for what would be for me, The Unkown.

Yeah. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Well, as it was pretty inevitable, the marriage ended, and he wound up going back to Cali all on his own.

I thought, my life is here, in Utah. I never even considered that a move for myself was in the very near future. I had pretty much decided that my life was already mapped out. Kids, job, friends, family. All of that was in Utah. I wasn't going to leave. Not ME.

HA. HA. HA!

Aaaaaaand then... I met... The Man!

Long story short: we met online, we talked on the phone, he flew out to meet me in person, we fell in love, he asked me to move back to CA with him, I accepted, and within a few WEEKS I was packed and moved.

THAT IS THE SHORT SHORT SHORT VERSION.

I left out A LOT  of details.

Moving on...

So, I returned to my state of birth. Hehehe that sounds funny...

I returned to the state that I was born in.

At first, I thought, wow, California is so... ugh. I mean, I was used to MOUNTAINS. And TREES. And NATURE. I thought California was so... brown. A lot of... not mountains. No wild trees. Nature was out there, but I had yet to see it. I wondered, will I like it here? I thought that the people drove like maniacs. I couldn't get over that you could buy alcohol in the grocery store. I had a hard time wrapping my head around the pay first, then pump, at the gas station. And the RENT! Holy Gawd! I mean, WOW. Ex-pen-SIVE. I thought that the streets were named weird, and wondered how ANYONE found their way around. And I really, really, REALLY missed my friends.

But I was in love, and happy, and I thought, for love, I can live here. I can accept it, even if I never really LIKE it here. That's what I told myself, and I meant it. Or so I thought...

And then, I went to the beach for the first time in literally YEARS.

And I knew that I was home.

I will have lived here in So Cal for six years this October. And I LOVE it. I love this state. I love living here. I always liked Utah, sorta... or rather, I liked PARTS of Utah... but I love to live HERE.

It started with my first ocean view. I couldn't believe how HUGE it was. I was stunned. I had seen the ocean before, but somehow, it didn't seem as big in my mind as it was in real life. I literally stood there, like a gaping tourist, and stared at it for over an hour. I couldn't get enough of it.

I still can't. I can't believe, still, that I get to go there, whenever I want, pretty much.

I went from the ocean to appreciating the rest of my new home. The weather. The people. The sights and sounds and smells. I became adept at finding my way around, navigating my way on the streets and freeways like an old pro. I found out about Farmer's Markets on the weekends. I found Trader Joe's. I learned what a REAL margarita was. I ate fish tacos for the first time. I got to eat snow crab, and found out that I loved it.

I embraced everything.

Life here hasn't always been ideal; we've had some tough times, a rough go. It hasn't been perfect. But what, really, is? There were times when I missed the familiarity of Utah, but I never really seriously considered moving back.

I fell in love.

I mean, not just with The Man, but I love it HERE. In California. I love living here. I love almost everything about living here. I really, truly never want to live anywhere else. I love that I can go to the beach, anytime. I love that my children are being raised here. I love the diversity, the many walks of life, the way that "anything goes". I love the laid back mentality that a lot of Californians have. I just really, really love it here...

So unless it breaks off and floats away... I never want to live anywhere else.

I get to live MY California Dream, and I am the luckiest person in the world.

 

Lazy, Lazy, Lazy, Lazy Jenna

I have been neglecting my blogger. I have been neglecting a lot of things online lately. Things like, my friends' blogs.... a wonderful story that a certain talented young woman is writing.... gaming with The Bean and Her Man..... and, of course, THIS blog.

There is no excuse. I have just been... reeeee-eeeealllllll-lllleeeeeee llllaaaa-zzzzyyyy....... about such things for the past few... weeks? Two weeks? Three? I have no idea.

I must say here that Kim, your hair looks adorable. I'm sorry that I haven't mentioned it previous. I love it, it looks very good.

Shanna, well, what can I say? Call me...

So what is my laziness about? No idea. Just general lack of motivation for anything, lately. Maybe because it's been so bloody hot lately, and all I want to do is lay on the couch in my underwear and pretend I'm at the bottom of the ocean. Maybe because my Extreme Teen is sucking the life out of me. Maybe because I have so many worries on my mind right now... money (and the lack thereof) chief among them... moving... my children starting school.... money.... my car.... my messy house.... my laziness.... making doctor appointments and dental appointments.... money.....these things and others are things that I have been currently obsessing over, and not in a good way.

I have been in this sloooow spiral since Comic Con. Like the high of that wonderful week took extra energy and I am just winding down. I'm not depressed... I'm not upset.... I just feel like I'm...

I'm....

I am....

Waiting.

Waiting for the next thing to happen. Not good, not bad; just, the next thing.

Whatever that may be, it seems to be holding me in limbo, and I have no motivation to do anything, to extend myself in any extra way. I do things all the day long with the children, and then The Man comes home, and we spend family time and later, alone time, and after that...the next day.... we do it all over again. It feels like there is nothing left over. I have no interest in most things that I usually have a lot of interest in.

I'm not...tired, exactly. I don't feel ill. I don't feel sad, or bummed, or anything like that. Worried, yes, about the above mentioned, but not OVERLY so. So what is this languid, almost apathetic, disinterested LAZY mood about?

Maybe I'm just re-charging my batteries. Things will pick up again, of that I am certain. Things ALWAYS do, no?