The Birthday Day (brought to you by Windows Live Writer)

Here I am, trying out Windows Live Writer (see, Shanna, told you I'd do it... eventually lol). I just downloaded it, and thought I'd take it for a test... blog... although I already blogged once today :)

Yesterday (Sunday) was my youngest daughter's birthday. "Delta" 

turned seven years old. It's a little odd for me, to see her, my "baby", growing up so fast. I must admit, I'm in a little bit of denial about it.

However, we had a fantastic day. Lucky girl, she got to open her presents pretty much right away, first thing. Technically, she didn't really "open" anything... see, I decided, some time ago, that wrapping birthday presents is totally overrated. I mean, really, what's the point? They just tear into them, could care less about the wrapping paper. They just want to get to the goods, right? So I have implemented a new tradition around here... The Big Birthday Bag of Goodies. It's one L A R G E gift bag full of their presents. They love it. I love it.

Hence, bliss.

So back to Delta and her gift bag. Well, it was big, and it was full of goodies. She received an art set, a new Etch n Sketch, Littlest Pet Shoppe pets and accessories, a big book about birds, and a stuffed parrot (seen above).

I took her out for the day, to the movies and to get ice cream. Well, ice cream wound up being a Jamba Juice (her choice), and we got there a little late to see the movie we wanted... so we bummed around til the next showing. We saw Wall~E. It was really cute. And she really got a kick out of it.

It was, all in all, a lovely afternoon.

For her dinner, she requested chicken nuggets, pasta, and green beans. For her "cake", she wanted a pie. So I got her a Julian Apple Mountain Berry Pie (um, only the BEST pie ever!!) and we had vanilla ice cream, too.

An easy day, a lovely day.

 

 

Beach and Books

Saturday was SUCH a good day :) We took the kids to the beach, as planned, and had a really good time. The kids had a freaking BLAST. From beginning to end, they were go, go, go, go.





The weather was fantastic. There was some wind, but nothing too bad. It certainly didn't impede us in anyway! The water was so warm. I went out in it for about an hour, and just couldn't get enough of it. The tide was pretty strong, so I wouldn't let my kids out very deep, but it was still cool.





I love the pull of the ocean, the ebb and flow of the waves. I feel so connected to everything and nothing when I'm out there, floating in the surf. I try and imagine what the first people who swam in the ocean felt... how they reacted when they first saw it, that vast expanse of endless water, as far as the eye can see.





Swimming in the ocean is something that everyone should do at least once in their life.







I am so glad I live in a place where my children can grow up, spending summer weekends on the beach. I am so glad that they love it as much as I do. When they were babies, and I lived in Utah, I remember wishing that I could take them to the beach, that they could grow up under the California sun. I had so many good times as a child myself, playing in the water and sand, and I wanted that for them, too.





Funny how life works out sometimes, no? In this case, at least, I got exactly that I wanted. And my children get to reap the benefits. It wasn't how I pictured it... but it never is! I'm just really glad that I get to raise them out here.





Of course, I don't know what possibilities life holds... but I can't see us ever leaving southern California. The Man and I really love it here.

After the beach, we headed for home. And I stopped at the post office to check the mail, thinking that were going to get the usual... but instead, I was thrilled to discover that my book order had arrived! I love books, and I had just ordered a particuarly large batch of books. I hadn't expected them for another week, so I was totally stoked when I opened my box and there they were! Yay!

So yeah, Saturday was a great day :)

Adventures

This should prove to be an interesting weekend. And hopefully, a really fun one, too.

We have yet to go to the beach this summer, but since school only got out last week, that's not really too surprising. However, we're going to pack it all up and make a beach run tomorrow, and I AM SO EXCITED!! I love the beach. I haven't gone beachcombing in two years. Even though I adore the sun, sand, and surf, I didn't make one beach day last summer. Not one.

I think I was suffering a bit of depression, now that I look back. Seems odd. I didn't even realize it til I more or less snapped out of it. Last summer was sort of a strange one. I felt like I was living in limbo, waiting for it to pass. Waiting for something to change. I was sad a lot. And I felt like I was slipping under.

Then September came, and with it my birthday. And with my birthday came my best friend, Shanna, and everything was wonderful. The only sad part was when she had to go back home. However, for whatever reason, having her here made me feel like I haven't felt in years. I felt rejuvenated. Alive again. It was a wonderful five days, and it more or less snapped me out of my funk.

Shanna is awesome :) She was the balm I didn't know that I needed.

Anyway, I seem to have gotten off track. So back to...

Today is going to be a busy one for me, and I need to get the children ready for the day. Since it's summer, I let them stay in their jams for longer, and I don't make them shower FIRST THING. However, I have some serious errands to run today and that requires that they be ready to go. Errands aren't for a few hours yet, so I have some time. Right now they're enjoying a late breakfast. Late, because during the school year, they eat before seven every morning.

So when they're ready, and we're off, it's time for the errands. I have to get some things for tomorrow... I should get some new beach towels, for one. Other than that, it's just basic household errand stuff. Nothing too exciting... or blog worthy!

Our eldest, Stephen, is coming home tonite, from Georgia. He was attending school there, but he's done now, and will be arriving late this evening. His mother is going to pick him up. I honestly don't know that we'll see him tomorrow, what with the beach and all, but he may come over tomorrow nite... but he'll definitely be here on Sunday.

About Sunday... well, it's my youngest daughter's seventh birthday. I don't know how I feel about that.

Wait.

I mean, I'm happy it's her birthday. She's sooo excited. It's just that, she's my baby. My LAST ONE. And it's a bit bittersweet for me to see her growing up... it's going by way, way, WAY too fast. I feel like I want to just... hang on.

Anyway, she's turning seven, and we're going to do her birthday party here at home, for the most part. She wants to have chicken nuggets, pasta, and sugar snap peas for her dinner. And instead of cake, she wants a pie. And ice cream. I told her that I would take her, just her and I, to see Kung-Fu Panda, since she REALLY wants to see it. Of course, we're doing her presents and things, and I think that's what she's excited about the most!! But what kid isn't?

And that's going to be my weekend.

Fun stuff!

Smarts

Most folks do what they're supposed to do; graduate high school. The vast majority here in the US usually at least get their high school diploma. Not everyone, but most.



And then there are those who, for various reasons, just... don't. They either drop out at some point or they don't graduate because of grades or unfinished projects. There's nothing really wrong with that... it's life. It makes life harder, I think, and limits your options, yeah, but it's not the worst thing ever.



I am one of those that dropped out. My reasons are varied, but suffice to say, I thought that school was a waste of time and I had better things to do. I didn't dislike school, really. It was more that I didn't care. I was indifferent. I had very little interest in what went on in the classroom. I was there physically, but I spent more time inside my head than I did giving the teachers my attention. I read a lot of books, and therefore knew a lot, but what I knew didn't really matter when it came to tests and homework.



So my grades sucked. I mean, really sucked. Homework was not something I did. I would take the books home, but... they would stay in my backpack til I brought them back to school the next day. I didn't study. I didn't want to.



I always meant to, but somehow, just never got around to it. I had better things to do. Like, read. Watch TV. Work. And, of course, hang with my friends.



Usual teen stuff. Usual teen logic.



Suffice to say, it really wasn't a surprise when I dropped out.



I meant to get my diploma through continuation school, but that didn't happen. Same reasons as above, but mostly, I just didn't care all that much.



So I did what I did, which is work, hang with my friends, read my books, go to movies... and just lived life. I moved out at 17, and turned 18, and thought about getting my GED, but... well, I had a new boyfriend. I was busy.



I can honestly say that I never once thought about diplomas, the GED, or college during the next year and a half. I can honestly say that I was not remotely interested in anything that had to do with education.



When I was 19, I got pregnant. Yeah, because I needed more of a life challenge, right? Anyway, I did make an attempt to get my GED at that time, but... I was overwhelmed by what was happening to me, and really, I still wasn't all that interested. I never took the test. I only took one prep class, and just didn't go back. I had too much going on at the time. At least, that's what I told myself.



Life went on. I had a job, I rented a room from a friend, I had a life. I met the father of three of my four (future) children, and we got married, moved into an apartment, had baby number two. I quit my job, and went about the business of being a wife and mother. I did the mom-thing twice more before I was done... and by that point, so was my marriage.



I didn't have the most supportive husband ever, and getting the GED wasn't something I entertained with any seriousness at time. I had four small children, a crumbling marriage, our finances were a complete joke, and life was really hard. Stepping out of my little box was NOT something that was going to happen right then. At least, that's what I told myself.



Fast forward a few years. Re-married to a great guy, my children are older and our finances are a little better. Still, I didn't go back and do anything about that whole GED thing. I wanted to, more and more, but for whatever reason, I continued to hold myself back.



Bottom line, I never thought that I COULD do it. I wasn't exactly brimming over with self-confidence, and I have issues with trying new things. I don't like to step out of my little box. My corner of the world is cozy and safe and KNOWN. My education ignorance, while not something I liked, was KNOWN. I knew how to operate and function within these self-imposed parameters. I knew my limitations, and while I didn't like them, I UNDERSTOOD them. I could live with it, because that's what I CHOSE. At least, that's what I told myself.



Make sense at all?



And that's where I was for a long, long time.



Well. Somethings changed.



When I was a kid, if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was the same. A teacher and a writer. As an adult, when asked, "what would your dream job be?" on those little MySpace quizzes, my answer is "a teacher and a published author". As a kid, I thought that was an attainable dream.



As an adult, operating within the parameters that I lived in as a (formally) uneducated adult, I knew that that dream was exactly that; a dream. Unattainable by my present circumstances. Or so I told myself.



I was too chicken to do anything about changing it. I was too afraid to step out there and go for it. I was too scared.



Until I wasn't.



One day, I decided that I wanted to go to school. I was sick of being held back by such limitations. More, I was TIRED of being held back by ME. My own worst enemy... ME. I didn't need anyone to put me in a little box and keep me there; I was doing it to myself. I wasn't reaching out for more, for better, for anything.



My little box suddenly seems too small and too confining. It doesn't feel safe anymore... it feels like its pressing me down.



I want more. I want better.



Last nite, I went to the GED orientation. I start taking the test on the first of July. I'll take my last test on the eighth. There are five separate tests.



And three weeks after that, I will have the GED certificate. And guess what? That's the key that unlocks the lock and lets me out of this damn little box. All I have to do is do it. All I have to do is get past being afraid to be a little successful. All I have to do is take the first step... and that unattainable dream suddenly doesn't seem so unattainable anymore.



I'll have options. My parameters will broaden. I'll be able to take bigger steps, go further, do things I thought I had given up on doing.



That's what I keep telling myself.