When Too Old Is Too Young

Where I was raised, getting married and having a baby before your twenty-second birthday was common. Expected, even. If you were a woman and made it to twenty-three and you weren't married or engaged, or even in a serious relationship, your peers started to wonder what was up with you. As in, what is wrong with you, what are you waiting for? If you made it to twenty-three and you WERE married, but childless, people would wonder if you were experiencing infertility issues. If you *gasp* waited til you were in your late twenties (and anything past 25 is considered "late twenties"), then obviously you needed to get your priorities straight, and yesterday, according to popular belief.

If you were a young man and made it to the twenty-five mark without dating with regularity, then there was clearly something was wrong with you. You were damaged or defunct, somehow, and anyone who dated you was cautioned to keep an eye out for whatever issue it was that had kept you from settling down and getting married. And heavan help you if you were born and raised in this area, and made it all the way to the ripe old age of thirty without meeting Ms. Right... you may as well throw in the towel and either move, or be doomed to bachelorhood. Forever.

Where is this Utopia, you ask? Where could these archaic ideals stem from, here, in the twenty-first century?

Why, none other than Mormon country itself. That great state of Utah!

Actually, Utah isn't so bad, really. If you don't mind the Mormons (allow me to clarify something here: I am not knocking the religion, although it sounds like it. Utah Mormons, who were born and raised there, have a somewhat different mentality than Mormons I have met who have lived in areas OTHER than just Utah. IT IS MY OPINION that they seem to be more accepting and tolerant of others. So... moving on). And the snow. I hear there's some great skiing, and those Jazz ain't so bad... but since I don't like organized religion as a whole, and I can live the rest of my life sans snow, and basketball *yawn* well, bores me, the only redeeming quality that Utah has is that it's home of my best friend. Other than that...

So this is where I lived for a lot of my teen years and most of my adult life. Not saying much, since I'm only 31. However, I too bought into the "let's get married and have a baby before we're legal to drink!" thing. I have four children, and all of them were born before I turned 25, if you can wrap your brain around that.

I've since moved, and live in So Cal. And today, as I was parked in front of the kids' school, I was observing the other mothers (and the occasional father) making their way to pick up their children, I noticed that the majority of them were either late 30's or 40's. Not many were in their 20's. And it got me to thinking about the above mentioned age topic.

So what's with that, anyway? Were I to move into almost any town in Utah, women my age would have children my age, and anyone in their late 30's, early 40's with a kid in elementary would be the odd one out. And yet, here, I'm usually one of the "younger" moms in the group. I don't really fit in with most of these women, and for the most part, they tend to ignore me. It doesn't help that a lot of the time, people think that I'm younger still than my 31 years (not bragging, just saying).

My best friend is my age (well, 32), and she has a three year old, a six year old, and an eight year old. Most of my friends back in Utah are within a year or two older or younger than me, and have kids the same ages as me. I have to admit, I kinda miss that. The women here tend to treat me a trifle... different. They're nice enough, but no one ever really goes out of their way to speak to me, and they all kinda group together. I know that in Utah, I would have a lot more in common with the other women (well, if they could cross that Mormon bridge and accept a Witch in their midst, that is, but that's a whole 'nother blog for a whole new day), and would probably have more than a few friends. Out here... well, not so much.

I wonder why that is?

Alright, well, that's that, as they say... later.

I miss you, Shanna. *SIGH*