I'm Not That Friendly

Well, people assume so, because I am generally very polite and friendly when I am out and about. But really, I'm not that cool. It's not that I don't like people; it's more along the lines that it's easier to be friendly to the cashier at the grocery store than it is to be friendly in order to make a NEW friend. Like, I really don't want to make new friends. Not really.

There are, of course, exceptions to that rule.

I'm speaking of Becky, of course. She's my friend, and I met her... I have no idea when. Awhile ago. Online. And technically, we've never really met. Just online and on the phone. But still, I consider her a friend. A best friend, actually.

Funny thing is, if we hadn't met via computer, I probably would have never taken the time to get to know her! Why is that?

Friendships are like marriages, I think. Somewhat. Both require a certain degree of commitment. You're not always going to like your spouse, and you're not always going to like your friends. You have to adhere to the commitment. Of course, this works both ways, just like in a marriage. Can't have one committed person and one... not. Just doesn't work like that, right?

And then there are the friendships that come so easily, so naturally, but only after years of getting there. Like me and Sunshine. I mean, we became friends a long time ago, but we didn't reach the level of love and commitment that we're at now til we'd been buds for a good long while. And even now our friendship changes and evolves. There were a few times (in the past) that we weren't as close, and both of us thought that we were going to do what sometimes happens in the best of relationships; drift apart. That happens, yeah... but fortunately, it didn't happen to us. Somehow we found our way again, and now we're better and stronger than ever.

Then there's the rekindled friendships. Like me and Licat. See, we were so very close as teenagers, so much so that we named our first born daughters after one another. And then, time and space came between us (and my own stubbornness) and we kinda lost touch. Lately, though, we've been in contact, and forging a new friendship from the foundation of our old one. Some things are as comfortable and easy as they used to be, but some things are like getting to know someone all over again. It's like making a new friend... but not. Easier and better. Because I already know her... I'm just getting to know her again. It's awesome.

And then, sadly, there's the friendships lost. Ok, misplaced. JRB and I were as tight as tight comes. I mean, I met this woman when I was seventeen, she was eighteen, and although we were so different, we were so alike. Click click connect. It was so easy and natural. Maybe because JRB is so easy to like, so sweet and just an all around GOOD person. I thought that she and I would be friends forever and ever. We went through a lot together, and were there for each other for some of the most trying times of our lives. I never thought that we would... lose touch. Only, that's what happened. I lost her number, her address. I lost her. And I miss her. So much. Misplacing her has really taught me to hang on, HANG ON to the ones that really matter; don't get lost, don't get caught up, don't let go.

I love my friends, even though I don't have that many anymore. I'm alright with that. I cherish the ones I have, adore and appreciate them, keep them close to me and never take them for granted.

So I don't want to make new friends, cause I've got all the friends I need!